Strange English Language

Site Admin Joined: May 07, 2003 Posts: 24 Location: Wigan

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
Edited by Admin - Sweetbreads are bulls bollocks (usualy boiled)

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't grocer and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single
annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one
of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a
letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on
parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be
opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell
another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when
they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a
sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into
someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And
where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would
ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by
going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race
at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up
this essay, I end it.

Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 10:45 am

Thanks Zoe for sharing your insight into the english language - I found that quite amusing.

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:32 pm

Interesting. Thanks for that. Very Happy